November 12th, 2010

Healthcare reform??

So I had pretty much decided I was ready to take the plunge. “Let’s do this thing” I thought to myself about gastric bypass surgery as I dialed the number to Blue Cross Blue Shield to see what kind of deductible I was looking at.

Turns out, weight loss treatment of any kind is excluded in my policy. Yes, a surgery that could end up saving them money by eliminating ALL of my weight-related health issues is excluded because it is considered “Preventative Care.”

Now mind you, employees of Blue Cross Blue Shield can all get gastric bypasses if they want them. The company is practically begging their employees to do it because the of the money it’ll save them. (I know this because I have a friend who works there.) But for their clients…apparently this doesn’t make sense.
So unless I find 30 grand under my mattress, I guess I’m screwed. Oh well.

August 17th, 2010

To bypass, or not to gastric bypass? That is the question.

Recently, I’ve been talking to a coworker who had a gastric bypass surgery 10 years ago and she’s still going strong. Has tons of energy and is very confident. She told me that 10 years ago she was a very different person.

With a BMI of 40, high blood pressure and metabolic syndrome, I am fairly certain that my insurance would cover the surgery. So I am giving it serious consideration.

Have any of you dear readers had this procedure? Can you give me your pros/cons? I’m still on the fence, but leaning towards having the it done. Getting up the nerve to call the bariatric surgeon now. Let me know what you think.

July 26th, 2010

WHAT??? Vitaminwater isn’t healthy?

hydrate responsibly?

Well, it’s official. According to The Consumerist, a federal judge ruled today that Coca Cola-owned Vitaminwater is just one more shitty and cynical attempt to profit from of our desire to stay fit and healthy.

Here’s what the judge had to say:

“By including the suggestion that the product will “keep you healthy” or “help bring about a healthy state of physical and mental being” alongside such statements, the quoted language implies that the nutrient content of Vitaminwater may help consumers maintain healthy dietary practices. I conclude, therefore, in light of the language and context in which they are used, that the statements on the “defense” and “B- Relaxed” labels constitute implied nutrient content claims which use the word “healthy.” Such claims are in violation of violation of FDA regulations because . . . Vitaminwater achieves its nutritional content solely through fortification that violates FDA policy.”

But really, this is nothing compared to the worst offender in Coca Cola’s portfolio (and one of my few remaining crutches): Diet Coke.

The more I read about the side effects associated with this beverage’s sweetener, Aspertame, the more I think i should eliminate it from my diet completely. Believe it or not, “weight gain” is among them. So the beverage we’ve been drinking to avoid sugar actually may be making us fatter.

July 21st, 2010

I haven’t failed. I just haven’t succeeded yet.

Failure

So it’s been weeks since I posted here. Funny how life can get in the way of the things you want to do. In the last two months, I’ve been averaging 55 hours a week at work. Made an offer on a house that will actually be functional for my family. Have been desperately trying to get our house ready for market.

I also managed to work in the death of a family member, a 14-day visit from my mother-in-law and a 10-day vacation to Orange Beach, Alabama, where we got to see the tar balls wash up on the beach for the first time on our last day there. (I love watching history in action.)

So what does it all add up to? Not much. No diet. Very little exercise. And zero postings on slimfatbody.com. Truly tragic.

So today, I am recommitting myself to my workout program…work schedule and life be damned. Let you know how it goes. What gets in the way of your workouts most?

June 8th, 2010

Update: Week 3 after the Pillar Procedure

Well, the doctor said it would take four to six weeks to realize the full benefits of the pillar procedure. He also said the procedure wasn’t a sure bet, and that I still needed to lose weight. But I promised you updates so here’s the skinny:

The Good News:
I’ve noticed an improvement in how I feel in the morning. I haven’t used my CPAP for 3 weeks and still feel pretty rested after 8 hours asleep. And I don’t think I’ve been snoring as bad or as much as before.

The Not-So-Good News:
I do still snore.  I was on vacation last week, and on more than one occasion, imbibed in a few celebratory cervezas. The results weren’t good.

Alcohol is known to exacerbate sleep apnea and even with the pillars in place, I found myself being shaken by my wife on more than one occasion and told to “turn over” in no uncertain terms.

I’m also still not totally used to the way the pillars have affected swallowing and my gag reflex. It was already on a hair trigger, and swallowing the wrong way can set it off pretty easily. I think this will subside over time.

More updates to come…

May 28th, 2010

I’m Your Guinea Pig: The Pillar Procedure

The pillar procedure image

So any fat person knows that with the weight, comes the snoring. And with snoring…probably comes sleep apnea. It’s serious shit.

I finally came to grips with it last January and started a CPAP. Truly a miserable experience that led to insomnia, my first dalliance with Ambien and my wife laughing at me as I strapped on the face mask like a fighter pilot each night.

It’s enough to make you feel like an 80 year old man. Next I’ll be the old dude in wheel chair with an oxygen tank smoking through a hole in my neck….OR maybe not.

I went to a sleep specialist who prescribed the “pillar procedure,” which is apparently cutting-edge medicine for sleep apnea.

You go in and the doctor inserts 3 stiff plastic rods in your soft palate, parallel with your throat.

Aside from triggering my gag reflex for about 12 hours, I think it’s already making a huge difference two  days later.

The only question is: WHY DOESN’T INSURANCE PAY FOR IT?

Oh yeah. Preventive medicine is beyond their scope. Dumb assholes would rather treat your enlarged heart in 10 years than spend $2000 to avoid it in the first place.

Updates on level of success coming soon.

May 7th, 2010

Supplement of the Week: Vitamin D3

Vitamin D3

Recently, among a few other suggestions, my physician suggested that I take a daily dose of 2000 IUs of vitamin D3.

According to Dr. Mark Hyman

The  verdict is still out on whether higher weight levels cause low vitamin D levels or the other way around.
But it seems like ther is a growing  consensus among doctors and researchers that vitamin D3 supplements may prove valuable to people on a restricted-calorie diet and that risks of taking it are reasonably low.

In his article “Vitamin D — Why You Are Probably NOT Getting Enough”, Dr. Mark Hyman claims that Vitamin D deficiency affects over half of the population, is almost never diagnosed – and has been linked to:

  • Many cancers
  • High blood pressure
  • Heart disease
  • Diabetes
  • Depression
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Chronic muscle pain
  • Bone loss
  • Autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis.

Sounds like a pretty good case to add it to the daily regimen. I did.

Needless Disclaimer: Always check with your doctor before adding any supplements to your diet.

May 3rd, 2010

It Sucks to Be Fat: “Give the Booth the Boot”

Picture this: You walk into a the hot new bistro that everyone has been buzzing about with your beautiful wife. You wait over an hour for a table, kicking back a couple handcrafted cocktails while you wait.

Then, as you blindly follow the hot young hostess to the table, you begin to break out into a cold sweat. Why? Because you can see that evil bitch has decided to steer you right into a deep-dish pizza pie of public humiliation – the booth.

Okay now the average skinny person reading this is thinking, “what’s wrong with a booth?” Well, my slender friend, when you’re sporting more than a little around the middle, a booth is your mortal enemy.

As you approach, you brain starts reeling, doing the mental calculus, sizing up the relative merits of each side of the booth and which might offer slightly more spacious accommodations. Taking your best guess, you attempt to wedge your girth between table and the seat back.

Once in a while, some generous restaurateur has decided not tried to pack as many paying patrons as he can possibly fit into the dining room. In which case, all your fretting is for naught. But more likely, simple economics wins out and you’re fucked.

In that case…

Your first level of recourse is to casually ask the wife if she would mind switching sides in hopes that your fat ass will fit a little better on the other side (luckily, many booths are not symmetrical).

Your second level of recourse is to hope and pray the table isn’t affixed to the wall and can be adjusted.

And your last, and totally humiliating level of recourse is to basically admit to the hot young (and evil) hostess that you are just to fat to fit in that there booth.

Having lived this nightmare one too many times, I usually just preempt the whole situation and tell the host that I would prefer a table when I give them my name.

May 2nd, 2010

Side Effects May Include a Fat Ass

I took my paxil today

In 1999, I weighed in at a very trim 200 lbs (I’m a large framed guy). I had actually made it down to 180 in 1996 and built up another 20 lbs of muscle in two years. It just so happened that for various reasons, I began to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.

After a few sleepless, miserable nights, I went to the doctor, who without delving too deep into the underlying causes or even mentioning psychotherapy sent me on my merry way with a Rx for a new antidepressant wonder drug – Paxil.

Thanks to modern pharmaceutical marketing (bribing of doctors with vacations, spiffs and other enticements), chances are that anyone who comes to a doctor complaining of mild depression or anxiety will probably be doled out a script for some SSRI, no questions asked. Likely because doctors have been lied to and told they are completely safe and non-addictive (most alternatives to SSRIs like benzodiazapines are addictive).

The only problem is, these drugs have side effects. In some cases, MAJOR side effects. In my case, I gained nearly 40 lbs in just one year (now that’s depressing). I also experienced withdrawal symptoms when I stopped taking it — a side effect that, at the time, wasn’t even acknowledged by the drug manufacturers or my doctor. They have been forced to acknowledge some of the nastier side effects in recent years.

So, if you’re depressed about being fat, I suggest you think twice before you turn an SSRI for relief. Try psychotherapy. Or even try getting into the gym on a regular basis. Exercise does amazing things to your mental state and has a side effect of helping you lose weight as well.

I’m not saying SSRIs don’t have their place, but for me, they were a horrible solution to a small, temporary problem.

May 2nd, 2010

Jillian Michaels Won’t Ruin Her Body Getting Pregnant

Jillian Michaels Fat Burner

But she apparently has no problems taking chances with yours. “Biggest Loser” trainer and resident piece of ass, Jillian Michaels is currently being sued for her weight loss supplement’s ineffectiveness. A woman in California claims she took two pills with each meal as directed. And….gasp…didn’t notice any appetite control or weight loss. Is any one really surprised?

My experience with recently available appetite control supplements leads me to believe that they are nothing more than expensive piss. However, there used to be a few that worked. They all contained a drug called ephedrine or its natural counterpart, “Ma Huang.”

These were essentially low-grade speed, and actually did control your appetite. They also made you jittery and irritable — a small price to pay for results.  Used in moderation and by a healthy person, ephedrine actually worked. It made you less hungry. It also dialated your capillaries so when you worked out, more blood went to your muscles.

But a few years ago, “The Man” cracked down and took them off the market. It seem methamphetamine dealers were using the active ingredient to help make their dope.

So for today’s celebrity sell-outs wanting to make a buck by preying on the desperate and overweight–the legal, over the counter options they can slap their name on are pretty limited — and pretty worthless.

That doesn’t seem to stop Michaels from trying to turn a quick buck.
When you stop to consider the rumors surrounding the questionable methodologies used by the trainers on “The Biggest Loser,” I’d play it safe and steer clear of this product. Unless, of course, you just like to look at the overly airbrushed photo of Michaels on the box. But I digress.

There is one OTC option out that is scientifically proven to help you lose weight. But the side effects are potential social suicide. And the weight loss is pretty minimal. More on “Alli” in a future post.